Here we go again……….

So, I’ve been MIA for awhile (thank you Captain Obvious, right?).  What have I been doing, you might (or might not) be asking –

1. Surgery – I had my capsular release on March 22.  It was painful – extremely painful.  And for the last 5 months, I was thinking it didn’t work.  I still had a lot of pain, still had PT twice per week, and showed little signs of improvement.  But, suddenly this week I realized I actually did feel better. I’m not at full range of motion (yet), but I’ll continue to work on it at home.  As of this week, my doctor was pleased enough to “graduate” me from aftercare and PT.  So, I’m officially on my own.
2. Uncle – My uncle passed away on Mother’s Day.  Completely unexpected and so devastating for my family – especially for my Mom (he was her triplet brother) and for his oldest daughter.  The blessing in this is that it did get my family talking about things such as Wills, our final wishes, etc.  It also just got our family talking. Period. My uncle was cremated and we had his service the first weekend in July.  It was a beautiful tribute and a lot of family came – cousins I hadn’t seen in over 10-15 years.  We’re making plans to get together more often now.  I really hope we do.
3. Lifestyle – Weight loss kind of took a back burner while I was recuperating from surgery and it just kind of stayed there.  Until 2 weeks ago.  I started following a Keto lifestyle (high fat/low carb).  The first day was a doozy.  I was lightheaded and felt hungry almost all day ( specifically poor planning on my part).  After that first day, I started feeling better.  I had more energy.  And as time has went on, my pain has become better too.  I’ve even had some days where I felt virtually no pain, other than some soreness.  This has been huge for me because for the past 15 years I’ve lived with pain of some sort.  My body has been riddled with inflammation.  This way of eating definitely has some anti-inflammatory benefits that I am extremely thankful for.

So, that’s me.  What’s been up with you?

I hear crickets…..

Not really, but I’ve been kind of quiet lately.  I’ve got surgery scheduled for next month and I’m a bit nervous.  A kind of anxious -but I feel good about the decision- nervous.  My body lately seems like a car that has just been paid off – it’s starting to nickel-and-dime me.  I’ve got something called “Frozen Shoulder” which really sounds benign,but it has got to be one of the most excruciating things I’ve ever dealt with.  I have searing pain in my shoulder all day, every day.  If someone bumps me, the pain knocks me over it’s so intense.  I can no longer lift my arm past chest level, I can no longer stretch my arm out to the side, I have trouble shampooing/conditioning my hair, have to clip it one-armed….I even have to have my 9-year-old help me with my bra.  It’s been a long 10 months – physical therapy, home therapy, doctors appointments, MRIs, X-Rays, and it’s just not getting better.  Worse, as a matter of fact.  Which is why I ultimately decided to do the surgery.  It was not a decision I came to lightly.  I mean, it’s surgery.  I researched.  I asked my doctors questions.  I talked to my family.  So, I’m at peace.  But I’m still nervous.

I’m down 2 more pounds, so total now is 15.  I’m walking, but not doing much else.  I hope to continue my walks after surgery.  I don’t want to gain the weight back and would like to continue losing.  After all, it’s 90% what you eat and only 10% exercise.

Reading wise – I’m in a funk.  I’ve gotten quite a few good books lately I’m just having trouble focusing.  Hopefully that ends soon – otherwise see some re-reading of my favorites in my future 🙂

“The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.”– Oliver Wendell Holmes

Fell Off (Again)………

So, I fell off the face of the earth.  Again.  Not sure who all stops by here anymore – I’m a lot more active on facebook, pinterest, goodreads, or ancestry these days.

Cancer – My sister was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma a few days ago.  We are still reeling from that little bit of news – trying not to over-google it…but still trying to research it just the same.  We’ve joined a few support groups and are just trying to process.  It’s definitely a life changer. We don’t yet know what strain or what stage she is in.  There will be a bone marrow biopsy and a PET scan done within the next week.  From there we’ll know more and then the oncologist will come up with a course of treatment.  The prognosis is good, so although we are scared, we are hopeful for a  positive outcome.  Your prayers are very much requested and appreciated.

Reading – Well, no surprise that I increased my reading goal this year to 110 books.  I’m about 75 in so far….fingers crossed.  It’s nice to know I’ll meet one of my goals this year! (ha ha).

Health – You would think that someone who was diagnosed as pre-diabetic would work harder at making better food choices for herself.  I know what good choices are – I’ve gained and lost a lot of weight over my lifetime.  For me, limited processed carbs works best.  I do better with proteins, veggies, and fruits.  I need to lose the weight – over 100 pounds, as a matter of fact.  I need to cook more at home, less eating out, less convenience foods – more movements, less sitting around.  I need to have more respect for myself and I need to get healthy.  End of story.

Genealogy – Still plugging along.  Still a lot of dead ends and roadblocks, but it is a passion of mine that I’ll carry for the rest of my life.  It is wondrous how connected I can feel to ancestors that lived generations before me.

Missing No More

So, I’ve been on “hiatus” – not completely intentional, but I didn’t completely fall off the face of the earth.  I did however fall while rollerskating.  In February.  Here’s the story – I took my 4-year-old niece to a skating party thinking that a) she wouldn’t in a million years want to roller skate and b) on the off-chance she did want to skate, the party was with all of her friends from daycare so she would skate with one of the teenagers that she loves.  That’s what I get for thinking.  Yes, she wanted to skate.  No, she didn’t want to skate with anyone but “Auntie”.  So, Auntie decided she’d take off her shoes and just walk around the rink holding onto J so she wouldn’t fall.  Auntie was quickly shot down by the powers that be at Skateland – evidently you can’t be on that floor without skates.  It’s not safe.  Evidently.  So, Auntie put on skates for the first time in about 10-15 years (after signing a waiver that she wouldn’t hold them responsible if she got hurt).  Auntie and J did a few laps, had a few laughs, and then attempted one of the games.  That wasn’t a good idea.  Auntie fell. Hard.  Hurt her left hand.  Auntie’s left handed.  It’s Bad.  But, I braved it through ’til the end of the party – then J and I buckled up in the car with the help of one of the kind teenagers and went to the Emergency Room.  Nurse Practitioner working took a bunch of x-rays, gave me a bag of ice and said it was just a bruise – a bad bruise, swollen, but it should be fine in a few weeks. If not better, go see your regular doc. I was wrapped in an ace bandage, told to take aleve, then sent on my merry way.   A few weeks come and go.  Still swollen, still achy, and my hand still looks like a bunch of pork sausage links connected by a band aid.  So I see my Doc.  “Try a Spica Splint” he says.  If it’s not better, come see me in a few weeks.  So, I got the Spica Splint.  A few weeks come and go, and still not better. I still can’t bend my wrist – I still can barely use my left hand. I can’t do much in the way of cooking – I can’t do much of much.  So I go to the Doc.  Doc takes another set of x-rays, but doesn’t see anything significant, so I’m sent to an Ortho Specialist.  A few weeks go by – first appointment, Dr. C has me remove the splint and tests my movements – which are none.  I’m sent right away to Hand therapy.  Weeks of this, combined with appts every 4 weeks.  Therapy at least twice a week, home exercises everyday, specialist appts every 4 weeks….for about 3 months.  It gets better, but still not healed.  I have an arthrogram.  Followed by an MRI.  Now, the MRI?  Piece of cake.  I had to lay on my belly surrounded by pillows while they did a bunch of scans of my hand.  I fell asleep.  It was heaven.  The arthrogram?  Not so much.  Even if you were one of my worst enemies, I don’t think I’d want you to go through one.  Or maybe I would.  Repeatedly.  While I watched.  (ha ha).  Anyway, verdict came in that I did have 2 tears in the cartilage and what appeared to be scar tissue under the thumb/wrist area.  Shouldn’t be significant, but I was still having issues.  That was the first time Dr. C brought up the subject of surgery.  I told him “not now” …so we tried a topical cream of sorts that has the anti-inflammatory in it.  Didn’t do much.  So we tried cortisone injections in August. It maybe helped a little bit, but not so much that I could see.  So, more appointments.  More talk about surgery.  More praying, more waiting, talking to my family, researching – I finally decided to have the surgery.  So it’s scheduled for the 18th of December.  We’ll be doing a wrist arthroscopic surgery – 3 incisions.  One on the left under my pinky to try and either fix or remove the torn cartilage, one in the middle of my wrist to try to get the cartilage, and one under my thumb.  It’s minimally invasive, but will still take approximately 6-8 weeks to heal.  Then I get to start all over again with the hand therapy and the home therapy and the doctor visits. I’m only hoping it works because I’m in pain everyday that radiates from my wrist to the tips of my fingers and also down the arm to my elbow.  It’s not fun, and it’s no good to take so many aleve on a daily basis.  A good day is 2-4 pills; a moderate day is 4-6, and a not-so-good day is 6-8.  Everyday.  That can’t be good on the kidneys. Anyway – I’ve never had surgery before so I’m nervous.  And it’s going to hurt.  A lot.

Anyway, as a result of the fall I wasn’t able to do a lot.  I couldn’t even open an easy pull bag of salad.  I still can’t do a lot of cutting – softer foods, yet; but pomegranates (which I love), pineapples, squash, etc., etc…forget about it.  Doesn’t work.  So I wasn’t able to cook for awhile, so I reverted to a lot of convenience food and takeout.  And not the “good for me” kind.

So, part of the regiment for the surgery was a physical.  Which is fine – I was due for one.  Just putting it off because I didn’t want to face the dreaded scale.  The nurses tell me all the time “We really don’t care what you weigh.” Well, that’s not the issue.  I do – and there is a lot of shame when I’m not taking care of myself.  It effects the whole psyche….add to the fact that I’m on anti-depression and anxiety meds, mixed in with some blood pressure meds for good measure and you can imagine what kind of hot mess I am when I have to face that dreaded scale.  It’s a lot of things – mostly shame, though I think.  So, had my appointment last week.  Still waiting on the results.  Got my meds renewed for another year.  Got my labs ordered for two weeks from now (has to be done less than 30 days from surgery) – Dr. P talked to me about taking some appetite suppresents short term to maybe help get me back on track.  I said I’d think about it – I don’t eat because I’m hungry, I eat to fill some sort of void.  Also, need to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day – or a minimum of 150 minutes  a week, and I need to start immediately.  So life went on – until Monday when I checked my messages and found a call from my doctor after my appointment stating they found blood in my stool.  So I have to do stool cards at home for three days.  And may I say there is really nothing more shitty than having to dig through your own fecal matter to spread it on lab cards? (Pun completely intended).  It’s absolutely disgusting.   I also did decide to start on the tenuate at least for a few months to see if it gives me the boost.  So far, I’ve made good choices – I’ve eaten lots of veggies and fruits, drank my water and even braved the scale.  That was the most surprising part.  I expected it to be worse than it was.  Yes, I gained some back.  But it was only 10 pounds – I can be happy about that  and I can move forward from there.

I guess the last bit of news would be in my genealogy stuff.  The adoption agency that we think handled my grandma’s adoption has opened a file for me – if they do have records on grandma, I’ll be able to get something – at this point I don’t know what that something will be.  They say they won’t give any identifying information – but this adoption happened in 1919 – everyone that was involved has passed away. So, I’ve petitioned for all information.  My father has even signed off on a letter releasing those records to me.  So fingers crossed and say lots of prayers.  This is something I would really like to discover!

Also – I took the new DNA test that ancestry.com is doing for $99.  For the most part I wasn’t surprised with the results.  I’m 61% Scandinavian (well, duh! I’m mostly Norwegian, but I do have some Danish and I also count my German in this category since they were from the Schleswig-Holstein area and intermingled with the Danes quite a bit); but here’s where the confusing part sets in.  24% Eastern European – Russia wouldn’t surprise me, because my g-g-grandma Clara said she was part Russian although I haven’t been able to find anything that validates that.  Then again, Clara was raised by her Aunt Frances – her parents either died or just disappeared after she was born.  So I really know next to nothing about her dad except he came from Manchester, England.  I also wouldn’t mind having some Greek in me – maybe that’s why I’ve always been so fascinated by Greek Mythology and dream of seeing the ruins one day. Here’s the surprising part — 15% Southern European  (Italy, Spain, Portugal) – have no clue.  None whatsoever.  What’s also interesting is no British Isles?  No Ireland?  My Hughes are all based from Ireland; my Schofields, Farleys, Coes, Pyles, Gallups, Andrews, and Collins all come from England – so I have no clue.  I might question the results a bit, but I’ve already discovered some new-to-me family connections with common ancestors, so there is a level of legitimacy.  I guess that leaves me with more to discover.

One Week Later

I had injections last week.  For as nervous as I was, they have been a God-send.  I’ve gone one full week without the chronic burning between my neck & shoulder, no numbness in my fingers, and no achiness in my arm. I get a little twinge of a flare up now and then, but it’s occasional and I’m in heaven!

I’ve been transitioning between genealogy and reading – doing a bit of both every day.  Currently, I’m on the 4th book of Toni Blake’s Destiny series.  Loved, loved, loved the first two; liked the 3rd one, and so far am enjoying Holly Lane.  My goal is to read 100 books by the end of the year; so far, I’ve read 80.  So far, so good – but I think I need to pick up the pace a little bit if I plan to obtain this goal!

As far as genealogy goes, I’m fairly active (like on a daily basis) at ancestry.com and myheritage.com. MyHeritage is more a collection of gedcoms, but it is a great way to connect with other folks.  I’ve made connections with German relatives in Schleswig-Holstein which is amazing to me since I don’t know much about that branch.  Rumor has it there’s a written history somewhere, but I haven’t been able to find a family member that knows anything about it. Then again, I wasn’t too interested in my German ancestry while growing up – it has nothing to do with the sperm-donor-that-I-really-don’t-consider-my-dad, but more the whole Anne Frank issue.  I loved her growing up and I was so ashamed to share heritage with the folks that were responsible for killing her.  I wanted nothing to do with it.

I also have to say that I love the changes made at www.familyhistory.org and the way the holdings are cataloged now – makes it so much easier to search and locate records!  Also, if you haven’t been there before – findagrave.com is a form of crack for me.  I’ve actually connected with some Irish and Danish relatives through that site.

Well enough rambling for me today – I have to go in for traction today (potentially my last one!!) and then decide if I want to buy a home unit (I’m not sure it’s effective enough to warrant the $$$).

Take care,
Devonna