Here we go again……….

So, I’ve been MIA for awhile (thank you Captain Obvious, right?).  What have I been doing, you might (or might not) be asking –

  1. Surgery – I had my capsular release on March 22.  It was painful – extremely painful.  And for the last 5 months, I was thinking it didn’t work.  I still had a lot of pain, still had PT twice per week, and showed little signs of improvement.  But, suddenly this week I realized I actually did feel better. I’m not at full range of motion (yet), but I’ll continue to work on it at home.  As of this week, my doctor was pleased enough to “graduate” me from aftercare and PT.  So, I’m officially on my own.
  2. Uncle – My uncle passed away on Mother’s Day.  Completely unexpected and so devastating for my family – especially for my Mom (he was her triplet brother) and for his oldest daughter.  The blessing in this is that it did get my family talking about things such as Wills, our final wishes, etc.  It also just got our family talking. Period. My uncle was cremated and we had his service the first weekend in July.  It was a beautiful tribute and a lot of family came – cousins I hadn’t seen in over 10-15 years.  We’re making plans to get together more often now.  I really hope we do.
  3. Lifestyle – Weight loss kind of took a back burner while I was recuperating from surgery and it just kind of stayed there.  Until 2 weeks ago.  I started following a Keto lifestyle (high fat/low carb).  The first day was a doozy.  I was lightheaded and felt hungry almost all day ( specifically poor planning on my part).  After that first day, I started feeling better.  I had more energy.  And as time has went on, my pain has become better too.  I’ve even had some days where I felt virtually no pain, other than some soreness.  This has been huge for me because for the past 15 years I’ve lived with pain of some sort.  My body has been riddled with inflammation.  This way of eating definitely has some anti-inflammatory benefits that I am extremely thankful for.

So, that’s me.  What’s been up with you?

Update for today (and the last few weeks).

So, I’ve been wrestling with the same 5 pounds over the past few weeks.  Not sure why, as I’ve been doing good eating wise.  I hate plateaus, I really do.  My mantra lately – this too shall pass.

Our lucky puppies have been getting lots of walks lately – today, they even got 3!  Tuckered them out a little though – they’re both snoring away, not a care in the world.  One thing I pondered today, though, is that our walks our getting more interesting now that I have to hold my pants up.  No joke – I’m in desperate need for smaller sweatpants.  I have to say, it would make for interesting conversation in the neighborhood 🙂

Surgery is three weeks away.  I’m anxious, nervous, excited, determined…..scared, and a bit stressed.  It’s coming fast – truth be told, I’m more scared of after the surgery.  I know it’s going to hurt for awhile — but hopefully, the pain will go away.  Which would be a step in the right direction – I’ve been living with the shoulder pain for almost a year.  Almost anything would be an improvement.

I love stewed tomatoes – they add a level of sweetness to whatever they are in. I made soup last night and used up the last can, so I did a little sneaky chef action and added apples to the mix.  It worked well to add some sweetness and nobody was the wiser…except for me 🙂

I hear crickets…..

Not really, but I’ve been kind of quiet lately.  I’ve got surgery scheduled for next month and I’m a bit nervous.  A kind of anxious -but I feel good about the decision- nervous.  My body lately seems like a car that has just been paid off – it’s starting to nickel-and-dime me.  I’ve got something called “Frozen Shoulder” which really sounds benign,but it has got to be one of the most excruciating things I’ve ever dealt with.  I have searing pain in my shoulder all day, every day.  If someone bumps me, the pain knocks me over it’s so intense.  I can no longer lift my arm past chest level, I can no longer stretch my arm out to the side, I have trouble shampooing/conditioning my hair, have to clip it one-armed….I even have to have my 9-year-old help me with my bra.  It’s been a long 10 months – physical therapy, home therapy, doctors appointments, MRIs, X-Rays, and it’s just not getting better.  Worse, as a matter of fact.  Which is why I ultimately decided to do the surgery.  It was not a decision I came to lightly.  I mean, it’s surgery.  I researched.  I asked my doctors questions.  I talked to my family.  So, I’m at peace.  But I’m still nervous.

I’m down 2 more pounds, so total now is 15.  I’m walking, but not doing much else.  I hope to continue my walks after surgery.  I don’t want to gain the weight back and would like to continue losing.  After all, it’s 90% what you eat and only 10% exercise.

Reading wise – I’m in a funk.  I’ve gotten quite a few good books lately I’m just having trouble focusing.  Hopefully that ends soon – otherwise see some re-reading of my favorites in my future 🙂

“The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.”– Oliver Wendell Holmes

Weight Watchers Owes Me $$

So, weight watchers is running a promotion right now – Lose your first 10 lbs on us. As of yesterday, I’m down 11 pounds – which means I get 2 more months of weight watchers for free 🙂

My steps are up and I’m averaging roughly 5,000-6,000 per day (not counting weekends, if I’m being honest).  I have found a new love for my fitbit thanks to friends who like to join me on the different challenges available – I don’t win, but I’m in the top 3 🙂

 

Being Mindful

Mindful – attentive, aware, or careful

What is mindful?  For me, I guess it’s just being aware.  I’m mindful of what I eat.  So far, I’m doing good.  I have work to do, but I’m doing it. I do think it’s time to reevaluate my eating though – specifically my breakfast.  I almost always have the sugary fruit on the bottom greek yogurt – pineapple, mango, or key lime being the 3 I rotate most often.  I need to switch it up w/ proteins (eggs, specifically).  My plan is to cook in bulk this weekend in order to have breakfasts done for the week.

I’m mindful of my movement. I’m blessed to work for a company that gives me 2 paid breaks of 15 minutes each.  They also give us 2 PTO days per year for creating, reaching, and maintaining our wellness goals.  I’m working on increasing my steps every day and so far, am averaging about 5,000 steps per day.  My goal is still 4,000 (until Monday), but I strive to get there every day.  Thank God I can walk – I can’t do much more than that these days, but that I can do.

My other goal is to cook foods I haven’t cooked before.  Parsnips, Rutabagas, Mangoes, Beets – that’s just the start.  I may even (more than likely) share the food and the recipe. I’m looking forward to what I find.

Until next time…..

4,000 Steps

Doesn’t sound like much, does it?  But, I’m sedentary.  My hobbies are sedentary.  My job is sedentary.  So, a goal of 4,000 steps is attainable for me.  My goal for the week is to meet my stepping goal.  The hardest part will be the weekends – BUT I’ve got a plan 🙂  I’ll walk during commercials.  I can do that!

After I’ve met the 4,000 steps per day for the week, I’ll increase it by 500 steps (per day) each week until I get to 10,000 steps (per day), per week.  How’s that for a S.M.A.R.T. goal?

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Target-Date (or Timely, depending on the acronym you’re more familiar with)

Today, I came in just barely over my goal.  BUT, it was over my goal! The sound you hear is me patting myself on the back.

As you can see by my points below, my eating is abysmal.  I’m getting plenty of fruits and veggies, but need to add more protein somewhere.

Here’s to tomorrow!

268.7/262.2/140

capture

New Home & Accountability Check

Welcome to my new home!  I made it official today by transferring all of my old blog entries to dishingwithdev.com.  I’m hoping this will be a fun place to visit and will try to remain positive as much as possible.

Today’s weigh-in: 262.2.  I’m down 5.5 pounds so far.  I’m kind of doing my own thing and have a hybrid of Weight Watchers and South Beach Diet. I try to menu plan as much as possible and use Plan to Eat. They’re awesome, inexpensive, and so easy to use.  I’m a big fan!

Today’s Diary:

B: nothing (my bad!)
S: still nothing (what a day!)
L: Tuna Salad (8 SP)
S: Grapefruit
D: Salad w/ Pork Tenderloin & Vedalia Onion Dressing (6 SP)
S: Grapefruit
S: NSA Fudgesicle (3 SP)

So, food wasn’t that great today – need to be more mindful about the eating.



			
						
					

Down a Few – Woo-hoo!

Still keeping keepin’ on.  I haven’t “seriously” been trying, but I have been tracking what I eat.  Yesterday was THE shopping trip – we stocked up on healthier options and made the resolution to cook more from home.  Last night – tacos.  Not that healthy really – except without a tortilla….maybe.  I admit, I had the tortilla.  But won’t tonight.

267.8/266/140
B: GoNature 2% Greek Yogurt (WW 6)
Banana (WW 0)
S: None
L: Lean Cuisine Pomegranate Chicken (WW 6)
S: Orange (WW 0), Mini Peppers (WW 0)
D: Taco Salad (WW 10)
S: NSA Fudgesicle (WW 3)

Per WW, I’m allowed 37 points per day and have eaten 25.  Will more than likely have to look at adding more proteins to my day.

Onward and upward!

It’s Official: I’m Fat

I was brave enough to step on the scale today – knowing it wouldn’t be good.  I was right – 267.8 pounds. Sometimes, I hate to be right.  Half of me wishes I hadn’t stepped on that Number Bully, but the other half is grateful.  I have a starting place now.  I have work to do, but I know I can do it.  I’ve done it before – several times, as a matter of fact.  It’s the whole “maintaining” gig that I have trouble with.

For me, the easiest thing to do is just start.  Start fresh.  Start new.  Not focusing on what’s behind me, but focusing on what’s ahead of me.  I’ve taken baby steps this week – just by cooking at home.  Which brings me to the reason why I’m thankful that our freezer broke down over Christmas break.  I  cooked.  A lot!  We still lost some stuff, but we did a lot of bulk cooking and I’ve re-energized my love of cooking and my love of reading & collecting recipes.  My love of creating delicious foods and having people enjoy their meal.  I’ve missed that.   My thing though is that I don’t really like measuring things out.  I come from a long line of dumpers that are blessed with just knowing what tastes good.  That being said, in order to be accountable for what goes into my body, I really do need to be more accountable about what goes into my meals.

I did South Beach Diet several years ago and lost over 100 pounds.  I felt great, I had more energy. I smiled a lot.  Then my heart got shattered and I just……….stopped.  Before I knew it, the weight was back – all of it, plus an additional 30 pounds.  I know it wasn’t “literally” overnight, but it truly feels like it.  I wasn’t really aware, if that makes any sense.  And when I realized what I’d done to myself, I was shattered all over again.  I cannot describe the level of self-loathing and embarrassment that comes from gaining back everything that I’d worked so hard for.  I just gave up. It feels like just yesterday, but it’s almost been a decade since I successfully decided to change my life and followed through.

What’s different this time around is I do have several medical conditions, some of which cause me to be in chronic pain on a daily basis.  Others, however, I think can be corrected with mindful eating.  Mindful living.  Exercise though, will have to be on the back burner.  I can walk – and I plan to, Anything more intensive probably won’t be in the cards for awhile.  I’ve had the talk with my doctor and she agrees with me, for now.  Right now, we’re focusing on the food and what I put into my body.  For me, I think tying in the fundamentals with the original South Beach program, along with Weight Watchers is the best course for me.  So that’s the route I’ll go.

To start, I’m just eating as normal, but I”m tracking my foods.  I want a realistic idea of what I’m doing to myself.  The thing is, even as I’m cooking the instant oatmeal, I know it’s crap.  I know I should just make a batch of homemade and go from there. Or even better yet, forego the carbs all together and make a batch of scrambled eggs!

I love collecting recipes and meal planning.  Currently, I’m addicted to Plan to Eat and am enjoying planning our family meals and using the site to create shopping lists that I can either print off, or check off on my phone.  It’s easy and so convenient!

Tonight’s dinner will be this Butternut Squash & Apple Soup recipe I found at Simply Recipes.  It’ looks delicious and will be something new for me – I’ve never tried making or eating a squash soup before.

I think I’ve rambled enough for today.  If you’re visiting for the first time, or revisiting me – thanks so much for stopping by!  Hopefully, you’ll come back and see me again. I’m planning on making updates at least a few times a week, so keep popping by 🙂  You’re always welcome!

“Don’t wait until you’ve reached your goal to be proud of yourself.  Be proud of every step you take toward reaching that goal.”  ~~ Unknown

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Fell Off (Again)………

So, I fell off the face of the earth.  Again.  Not sure who all stops by here anymore – I’m a lot more active on facebook, pinterest, goodreads, or ancestry these days.

Cancer – My sister was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma a few days ago.  We are still reeling from that little bit of news – trying not to over-google it…but still trying to research it just the same.  We’ve joined a few support groups and are just trying to process.  It’s definitely a life changer. We don’t yet know what strain or what stage she is in.  There will be a bone marrow biopsy and a PET scan done within the next week.  From there we’ll know more and then the oncologist will come up with a course of treatment.  The prognosis is good, so although we are scared, we are hopeful for a  positive outcome.  Your prayers are very much requested and appreciated.

Reading – Well, no surprise that I increased my reading goal this year to 110 books.  I’m about 75 in so far….fingers crossed.  It’s nice to know I’ll meet one of my goals this year! (ha ha).

Health – You would think that someone who was diagnosed as pre-diabetic would work harder at making better food choices for herself.  I know what good choices are – I’ve gained and lost a lot of weight over my lifetime.  For me, limited processed carbs works best.  I do better with proteins, veggies, and fruits.  I need to lose the weight – over 100 pounds, as a matter of fact.  I need to cook more at home, less eating out, less convenience foods – more movements, less sitting around.  I need to have more respect for myself and I need to get healthy.  End of story.

Genealogy – Still plugging along.  Still a lot of dead ends and roadblocks, but it is a passion of mine that I’ll carry for the rest of my life.  It is wondrous how connected I can feel to ancestors that lived generations before me.

Missing No More

So, I’ve been on “hiatus” – not completely intentional, but I didn’t completely fall off the face of the earth.  I did however fall while rollerskating.  In February.  Here’s the story – I took my 4-year-old niece to a skating party thinking that a) she wouldn’t in a million years want to roller skate and b) on the off-chance she did want to skate, the party was with all of her friends from daycare so she would skate with one of the teenagers that she loves.  That’s what I get for thinking.  Yes, she wanted to skate.  No, she didn’t want to skate with anyone but “Auntie”.  So, Auntie decided she’d take off her shoes and just walk around the rink holding onto J so she wouldn’t fall.  Auntie was quickly shot down by the powers that be at Skateland – evidently you can’t be on that floor without skates.  It’s not safe.  Evidently.  So, Auntie put on skates for the first time in about 10-15 years (after signing a waiver that she wouldn’t hold them responsible if she got hurt).  Auntie and J did a few laps, had a few laughs, and then attempted one of the games.  That wasn’t a good idea.  Auntie fell. Hard.  Hurt her left hand.  Auntie’s left handed.  It’s Bad.  But, I braved it through ’til the end of the party – then J and I buckled up in the car with the help of one of the kind teenagers and went to the Emergency Room.  Nurse Practitioner working took a bunch of x-rays, gave me a bag of ice and said it was just a bruise – a bad bruise, swollen, but it should be fine in a few weeks. If not better, go see your regular doc. I was wrapped in an ace bandage, told to take aleve, then sent on my merry way.   A few weeks come and go.  Still swollen, still achy, and my hand still looks like a bunch of pork sausage links connected by a band aid.  So I see my Doc.  “Try a Spica Splint” he says.  If it’s not better, come see me in a few weeks.  So, I got the Spica Splint.  A few weeks come and go, and still not better. I still can’t bend my wrist – I still can barely use my left hand. I can’t do much in the way of cooking – I can’t do much of much.  So I go to the Doc.  Doc takes another set of x-rays, but doesn’t see anything significant, so I’m sent to an Ortho Specialist.  A few weeks go by – first appointment, Dr. C has me remove the splint and tests my movements – which are none.  I’m sent right away to Hand therapy.  Weeks of this, combined with appts every 4 weeks.  Therapy at least twice a week, home exercises everyday, specialist appts every 4 weeks….for about 3 months.  It gets better, but still not healed.  I have an arthrogram.  Followed by an MRI.  Now, the MRI?  Piece of cake.  I had to lay on my belly surrounded by pillows while they did a bunch of scans of my hand.  I fell asleep.  It was heaven.  The arthrogram?  Not so much.  Even if you were one of my worst enemies, I don’t think I’d want you to go through one.  Or maybe I would.  Repeatedly.  While I watched.  (ha ha).  Anyway, verdict came in that I did have 2 tears in the cartilage and what appeared to be scar tissue under the thumb/wrist area.  Shouldn’t be significant, but I was still having issues.  That was the first time Dr. C brought up the subject of surgery.  I told him “not now” …so we tried a topical cream of sorts that has the anti-inflammatory in it.  Didn’t do much.  So we tried cortisone injections in August. It maybe helped a little bit, but not so much that I could see.  So, more appointments.  More talk about surgery.  More praying, more waiting, talking to my family, researching – I finally decided to have the surgery.  So it’s scheduled for the 18th of December.  We’ll be doing a wrist arthroscopic surgery – 3 incisions.  One on the left under my pinky to try and either fix or remove the torn cartilage, one in the middle of my wrist to try to get the cartilage, and one under my thumb.  It’s minimally invasive, but will still take approximately 6-8 weeks to heal.  Then I get to start all over again with the hand therapy and the home therapy and the doctor visits. I’m only hoping it works because I’m in pain everyday that radiates from my wrist to the tips of my fingers and also down the arm to my elbow.  It’s not fun, and it’s no good to take so many aleve on a daily basis.  A good day is 2-4 pills; a moderate day is 4-6, and a not-so-good day is 6-8.  Everyday.  That can’t be good on the kidneys. Anyway – I’ve never had surgery before so I’m nervous.  And it’s going to hurt.  A lot.

Anyway, as a result of the fall I wasn’t able to do a lot.  I couldn’t even open an easy pull bag of salad.  I still can’t do a lot of cutting – softer foods, yet; but pomegranates (which I love), pineapples, squash, etc., etc…forget about it.  Doesn’t work.  So I wasn’t able to cook for awhile, so I reverted to a lot of convenience food and takeout.  And not the “good for me” kind.

So, part of the regiment for the surgery was a physical.  Which is fine – I was due for one.  Just putting it off because I didn’t want to face the dreaded scale.  The nurses tell me all the time “We really don’t care what you weigh.” Well, that’s not the issue.  I do – and there is a lot of shame when I’m not taking care of myself.  It effects the whole psyche….add to the fact that I’m on anti-depression and anxiety meds, mixed in with some blood pressure meds for good measure and you can imagine what kind of hot mess I am when I have to face that dreaded scale.  It’s a lot of things – mostly shame, though I think.  So, had my appointment last week.  Still waiting on the results.  Got my meds renewed for another year.  Got my labs ordered for two weeks from now (has to be done less than 30 days from surgery) – Dr. P talked to me about taking some appetite suppresents short term to maybe help get me back on track.  I said I’d think about it – I don’t eat because I’m hungry, I eat to fill some sort of void.  Also, need to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day – or a minimum of 150 minutes  a week, and I need to start immediately.  So life went on – until Monday when I checked my messages and found a call from my doctor after my appointment stating they found blood in my stool.  So I have to do stool cards at home for three days.  And may I say there is really nothing more shitty than having to dig through your own fecal matter to spread it on lab cards? (Pun completely intended).  It’s absolutely disgusting.   I also did decide to start on the tenuate at least for a few months to see if it gives me the boost.  So far, I’ve made good choices – I’ve eaten lots of veggies and fruits, drank my water and even braved the scale.  That was the most surprising part.  I expected it to be worse than it was.  Yes, I gained some back.  But it was only 10 pounds – I can be happy about that  and I can move forward from there.

I guess the last bit of news would be in my genealogy stuff.  The adoption agency that we think handled my grandma’s adoption has opened a file for me – if they do have records on grandma, I’ll be able to get something – at this point I don’t know what that something will be.  They say they won’t give any identifying information – but this adoption happened in 1919 – everyone that was involved has passed away. So, I’ve petitioned for all information.  My father has even signed off on a letter releasing those records to me.  So fingers crossed and say lots of prayers.  This is something I would really like to discover!

Also – I took the new DNA test that ancestry.com is doing for $99.  For the most part I wasn’t surprised with the results.  I’m 61% Scandinavian (well, duh! I’m mostly Norwegian, but I do have some Danish and I also count my German in this category since they were from the Schleswig-Holstein area and intermingled with the Danes quite a bit); but here’s where the confusing part sets in.  24% Eastern European – Russia wouldn’t surprise me, because my g-g-grandma Clara said she was part Russian although I haven’t been able to find anything that validates that.  Then again, Clara was raised by her Aunt Frances – her parents either died or just disappeared after she was born.  So I really know next to nothing about her dad except he came from Manchester, England.  I also wouldn’t mind having some Greek in me – maybe that’s why I’ve always been so fascinated by Greek Mythology and dream of seeing the ruins one day. Here’s the surprising part — 15% Southern European  (Italy, Spain, Portugal) – have no clue.  None whatsoever.  What’s also interesting is no British Isles?  No Ireland?  My Hughes are all based from Ireland; my Schofields, Farleys, Coes, Pyles, Gallups, Andrews, and Collins all come from England – so I have no clue.  I might question the results a bit, but I’ve already discovered some new-to-me family connections with common ancestors, so there is a level of legitimacy.  I guess that leaves me with more to discover.

21.9 Pounds

I’m starting to see changes in my body now……my stomach isn’t as big and my face is slimming down.  Also – my pants are too big!!  I’ll be needing to head to town and pick out a few new pairs to wear until I drop a few more pounds 🙂

In other news – those of you that are facebook friends know I sprained my left wrist rollerskating on Saturday.  That’ll teach me!  The biggest bummer of the whole thing is I’m left-handed.